I have a friend who hates it when I use the word ‘intercourse’ in my books. It means communication between people, but of course I’m using it as short for ‘sexual intercourse’. I’m being cheeky, discourse means communication too, but you probably knew that. Intercourse sounds clinical to refer to sex, I know, but depending on the context, it’s the right word for me at various times. I’m writing crime and family life, and not everyone ‘fucks’ all the time. I know that’s hard for some people to fathom, but they just don’t.
I write about sex from various perspectives: as a form of abuse, as an expression of love or passion, as an assault, as a necessity, as a burden, as an expectation. When I see how highly books about BDSM, and women having sex with men they call ‘daddy’, and men who treat women so badly are rating . . . I’m saddened. This is my opinion, my feeling on it, and I’m not judging people here. Read and write what you want.
There are so many people who suffer because of sex and I find books that glorify rape, that have women needing to have sex to keep a job, giving up their virginity to have sex with groups of men at the same time, women being ‘owned’ by men, and women who are being preyed on by people in positions of authority sad. And even sadder that these are addictive. People become addicted to reading these kinds of books because of the chemicals they release. True story. Damn psychology and physiology ganging up on you.
This is not a lecture. This is not a ‘stop reading that before it breaks your brain’ post. This is a ‘sex isn’t the same for everyone’ and ‘I’d love to see some meaning come back to sex’ thing. I’d love to see sex being respected. I’d love it to be understood. I’d love to see people move away from seeing people as objects and away from rape culture. I’d love to see people being entertained by sex because of the reality of it, how relatable it can be, the understanding of it from other perspectives than just ‘fantasy’ and ‘getting off’. That’s just me though. I will continue to write sex the way I do in my fiction, and people will continue to read and write how they do too, and it’s all good. I’m all for individuality.
Good fiction inspires, and I aspire to be inspirational.