Dear bully…

Dear Bully,
Do you know you’re a bully? Maybe you don’t. But I know you’re a bully, and other people know you’re a bully too. This isn’t just because you don’t like people, because it’s up to you who you like and why. Maybe you’re easily influenced by others about who you should like, because you have poor self-esteem. Maybe you’re not a bully in offline life because you don’t have the same power that you can wield behind the screen.  Or maybe your self-esteem is high and you think you’re entitled to treat people this way all the time.

What makes you a bully? Excluding people, disrespecting people who disagree with you, spreading rumours, misrepresenting people, taking innocent comments and turning them into something nasty,  running people down behind their backs, undermining other people.

Why do you do it? For attention, for power, because you’re jealous, because you have an aggressive personality, because you’re taking your issues out on others?

What effect are you having on people? The weak will flock to you in awe. The strong will eye roll. The people caught on your bad side will probably feel depressed, will doubt themselves, will try to get on your good side, will wonder over and over why you’re doing this to them or what they’ve done to make you not like them. In extreme cases, you could push someone over the edge.

I can’t change you. I can’t ask you to take a good hard look at yourself and what you’re doing. I can’t make you apologise to the people you hurt. I can’t make you ‘take it back’. What I can do is tell you that in the end you’ll be lonely. People will be talking about you behind your back and saying how mean you are. They’ll realise that they’re not alone in seeing how unacceptable your behaviour is, and that they don’t have to bend to your will. They’ll see that the people who think you’re ‘all that’ are actually out numbered by the people who think you’re a bully. Then they’ll dwindle away. All the sycophants caught up in the hysteria will realise the truth. And when that happens you might feel like you’re a victim. You’ll be wondering why everyone is gone, except those few people who fired you up and fed your belief that you could do this, and maybe you’ll realise that you were wrong to treat other people this way because you don’t like it when it happens to you.

So, dear bully, to quote Ice Cube, ‘You better check yo self before you wreck yo self’.



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