Being polyamorous

Love is a touchy subject for some people. The concept of love varies from culture to culture, religion to religion and person to person. People are famously quoted as saying you can’t be in love with two people at once. Everyone has their own view on what constitutes a relationship, and they’re entitled to that view.

If we simplify love as being ‘a deep affection for’ then we can safely say that we all love a number of people. Our parents, our siblings, our children, our friends or maybe even a celebrity. All the time on social media fans tell their idol ‘I love you’. Okay so now we can all accept that we love a number of people.

Moving on to romantic love then, involving a sexual relationship, most people would say you can only love one person that way at a time. That’s called monogamy. But what if you didn’t? What if you were in two relationships at the same time? You’d be ‘cheating’ on someone? What if you weren’t? What if you were in a polyamorous relationship? What if you had two partners? They were monogamous with you, they knew about each other and they were fine with you being with both of them? No one gets hurt, no one lies and there is no guilt. Polyamorous relationships have been defined as “consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy” (Keenan 2013).

In the first Ruthless Beings book, the main character asks the question, “Do you hold the monopoly on being polyamorous?” indicating that she would be willing to be in a relationship like this. This is a concept that some people struggle with. Polyamory isn’t for everyone. Neither is homosexuality. But who are we to judge, or to decide for other people the limitations of their love?