I know I’m not you

One of the aims of my writing, apart from entertainment obviously, is to make people think.  My books are about people.  My life is about people. I’m surrounded by people from all different walks of life, with their own struggles and triumphs.  I like people and I got into my profession so that I could help people.  The Ruthless Beings series explores love, sexuality and relationships, and it also looks at abuse, stereotyping, communication and our expectations of those around us.  The way people develop coping skills and how their childhood was experienced, lays a foundation for their life ahead. People will be, at their core, the same always but they can also grow.

In the first book I looked at exploring love and sex and how people treat each other because of their own issues. In the second book we look at the complicated feelings people have about other people and dealing with trauma how they can, with or without help. In the third book I explore how people can lack insight into their own behaviour when they’re goal focused, and how they ‘lose’ themselves.  I also touch on frame of reference, which I think is very important. If you can look at a person’s behaviour from a subjective perspective then you realise that regardless of how it looks to you or how you would cope in that situation, you’re not them. Regardless of how trivial and insignificant something might be to you, that is less important than how that individual feels about it and perceives it. You can’t dismiss someone else’s feelings on something just because you don’t feel the same way. It’s important to acknowledge that they’re thinking and feeling from within their own frame of reference not from yours. They have different struggles and triumphs and a different foundation. The worst thing that happened to them might be “nothing” compared to what you’ve been through, but you’re not them. How things are in reality becomes less important than how people perceive it.

I know I’m not you.


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